Dare to be Stupid!

The title of this post refers to the action of calling Comcast for customer and technical support. For those unfamiliar with this leach of a corporation, Comcast is a "provider" of television, internet, and telephone service via traditional cable. Provider is in facetious quotes because, due to recent changes that would make Michael Corleone smile, Comcast is no more than a facetious provider to Ballista at the moment.

Basically, Comcast decided to extort a few extra dollars from its customers by moving premium channels, including HBO, to digital channels exclusively. So, in order for Ballista to watch quality programming such as The Sopranos, The Wire, and Rome, Ballista had to pony up and install digital cable boxes this week. For some delusional reason, Ballista thought this would be a quick and painless task. WRONG! After calling to activate the first box and waiting the requisite 45 minutes for the digital signals to download, nothing happened. None of the channels were coming through. All that appeared was a taunting message that the channel would appear "soon". So, after being left on hold for another 45 minutes, technical support supposedly tried all of one "fix" at their end before calling it quits and dispatching a technician to Ballista's abode.

Two days later, on the day of the scheduled service call, the tech arrived over 3o minutes after the max time quoted by customer service. To his credit the guy knew the root cause as soon as Ballista described the problem. Yes, Ballista had to describe the problem because Comcast conveniently forgot to tell the tech why he was there. He called somebody at the home office, made some adjustment with the remote and declared the problem fixed. Indeed, channels now appeared for my viewing pleasure. Ironically, the program to appear on the screen... The Cable Guy. Probably a bad sign. Before Ballista could check for all the channels and discover that the problem was not solved, the tech was out the driveway. So, Ballista dared to be stupid again and called customer service once more. Supposedly, Comcast had to boost the juice on my cable line. Twice! Must have been set to trickle before. All is well for the time being.

Several days later, Ballista attempts to activate another digital box. Oh, speedy von cable tech assured Ballista that the other box would work properly. Right... and Elvis is living in a nursing home in Texas. Again, no signal except for that damned "One moment please" message. That could only have been conjured up by the infamous Loki. Daring to be stupid once more, Ballista calls Comcast. While claiming to be trying this and that on her end, the rep is telling Ballista how tired she is and how much she wants to go home after this call. Great job, Comcast! "Your call is important to us. Just not as important as getting our ass home to eat Mac and Cheese and watch American Idol on our DishTV."

Resolution? None. Another tech is supposed to arrive tomorrow. Not holding my breath. It's even worse than you know, because Ballista is leaving out some of the more minor acts of idiocy and incompetence on Comcast's part. Do you think it would mean anything to Comcast for Ballista to point out that, when digital cable first started, and Ballista was living in another city, AT&T came to my house to hook up the whole system for me and didn't leave until ALL the channels were coming through loud and clear? So, won't you please join Ballista in a rousing round of Weird Al's classic ditty...

Dare to be stupid!

Update: There is some redeeming twisted humor in this fiasco. Comcast is Ballista's ISP, so they are, in effect, enabling my written thrashing of them and their reputation.

Update 2: Comcast has apparently sent out hundreds of these mis-programmed boxes. Strive for excellence - that's what Ballista always says.