I'm Surrounded by...

This is how I have felt all week.

Gotcha!

(click to enlarge)

That's Gmail's filters dumping a Google Alerts update into the spam folder. Honest. Does this mean:

1. Google ain't as smart as everyone makes them out to be?
2. Microsoft is secretly programming Gmail?
3. Google is telling Ballista that what Ballista thinks Ballista wants to know about is just crap?
   

Silent Service

Ballista got thinking about submarines the other day. Grandfather served on a sub in the Pacific theater during WWII - probably on an S-class boat for at least part the war. Duty sent him from Hawaii to Australia to Palau and back again. When the war ended and his sub was ordered back to Pearl Harbor, the boat was more than a week overdue and the crew was listed as missing for a short time. Grandpa never talked his time in the Navy. When asked a question he would usually reply that he didn't remember. Ballista recalls him as a reserved man, so it is difficult to discern whether he genuinely could not remember or he did not want to talk about a nasty time from his past.

The men of the Silent Service accomplished amazing feats during WWII. Thinking about them tangentially led Ballista to thinking about movies about submarines. No replacement for some of the books written about sub fleet, numerous films made during and after the war make for good entertainment. Ballista here offers a quick review, in no particular order, of those set in the Pacific.

• Run Silent, Run Deep. (1958). Clark Gable must recover from the disastrous sinking of his previous boat to command a new sub. But Burt Lancaster and crew are unsure of their new skipper and his decision to venture into an area that the Fleet brass have deemed off-limits. Does Gable have an ulterior objective and to what length will he go to achieve it? Don Rickles guest stars to insult the Japanese into capitulating.
  
• Up Periscope. (1959). James Garner is a UDT expert (forerunner to a SEAL) and is sent to destroy a Japanese radar station that could undermine an upcoming Allied offensive. Gruff sub skipper Edmond O'Brien must overcome his own demons to hold his crew together and help Garner complete his mission.
  
• Operation Pacific. (1951). John Wayne. In a submarine. Does Ballista really need to say more?
  
• Torpedo Run. (1958). Glenn Ford and Ernest Borgnine must sink Japan's newest aircraft carrier. But reports say the ship is transporting American prisoners as a human shield. Is Glenn Ford's wife one of those prisoners?
  
• Destination Tokyo. (1943). Cary Grant leads his crew into the heart of enemy territory, Tokyo Bay. His mission is to snoop around and report intelligence to the carrier fleet transporting Jimmy Doolittle's bombers for their daring raid. The only hitch is that one of the submariners falls gravely ill and needs surgery, stat! Watch the dashing Grant confront ethical dilemmas and Japanese warships in this thriller made in the middle of the war.
• Operation Petticoat. (1959). Cary Grant returns. This time he must get his damaged sub back to base while avoiding the rapidly advancing Japanese in the days immediately following the Pearl Harbor attack. Along the way he picks up a "resourceful" and womanizing (hehe) Tony Curtis and a half dozen stranded nurses. Buxom nurses. More comedy than action/drama, but still worthy of mention.
  

Stay tuned for a review of films set in the Atlantic.

Set Phasers to...

I want a phaser. Not just because Ballista is a Trekkie who has seen all 10 movies and every episode of TOS, TNG, and DS9 repeatedly. (I just lost a lot of respect, didn't I?) Anyway, Ballista wants a phaser (one with just a stun setting to be precise) because it would resolve many of the problems of the gun debate, particularly in the US.

The pro-gun argument is that everyone has the fundamental right to defend/preserve their life; and guns provide the best defense against an attacker. As the marketing guru said "God made men. Samuel Colt made men equal." They also argue that firearms prevent the state from becoming too powerful/authoritarian/tyrannical. (Granted, probably less of a threat today in the USA than in 1789, but who knows?)

The anti-gun side argues that firearms enable and promote violence, both premeditated and in the passion of the moment. The victims of gun violence, the claim, are mostly and regrettably innocent civilians - often minorities.

That's the debate in a nutshell.

How would phasers help, you ask? First the problem with guns is that they kill people. Obviously. But you don't need to kill an attacker to defend yourself - you merely need to disable them or render useless their ability to attack you. Witness karate or pepper spray. However, against an armed attacker, neither may be possible/practical. You pretty much need to counter a high velocity, intermediate-to-long range weapon (i.e., a hand gun or rifle) with another similar weapon. Like it or not, guns are simply the most efficient weapon we currently have for personal defense. Alternatively, a phaser could disable an attacker, armed or not, without killing them. For the pro-gun side, this removes the guilt or remorse for taking a life, even if said life was a would-be rapist or murderer. Also, this prevents civil wrongful death lawsuits*. For both pro- and anti-gun sides, no more stray bullets killing kids, minorities, grandmothers, and other innocents.

Phasers also solve the dilemma of guns on airplanes. Terrorists (or annoying passengers) storming the cockpit? Stun the son of a !

What about Tasers, you ask? Not good enough. They work only at very close range and/or are a one shot deal. Conversely, my phaser would be able to shoot a disabling bolt of energy at approximately the same rate and over the same distance as today's handguns. Worse thing that happens is that you** miss Mr. Bad Guy with a stun blast and Granny takes a little nap.

So, there it is. Ballista wants a phaser.

BTW - since the holiday season is approaching, and because we don't have functional pulse energy weapons, yet, you can bid on one of these beauties for your favorite ballistic blogger:



Via Gizmodo: Autographed Star Trek phasers, communicators to go on sale next week



*Ballista was once told by someone I consider an expert on the topic that if you have to use your gun in self-defense, expect to be sued.
**We all know that Ballista is always on target.

Recoil... Reload

After a lengthy self-imposed exile (and healthy self-flagellation over the very bad Larry Craig post below), Ballista is back with a renewed sense of purpose. The aim is thus: to cover and comment on all those developments and happenstance that make our world a not-too-friendly place. It is sort of like what Machiavelli said [paraphrasing], "Most want to show you the way to Heaven. I'd rather show you how to avoid Hell." So, look out bad guys of the world, and all those who obstruct the progress of liberty, development, and security, you are in Ballista's cross hairs from now on!

(Don't worry, dear reader, the sarcastic and darkly humorous musings about life and life's annoyances will still sporadically appear.)

To start off, this unnerving treat from the UK's Daily Maily. Ballista remembers reading almost a decade ago about the Navy's concern over ultra-quiet diesel boats being developed by the Russians and Chinese. Now those subs are popping up right in the middle of US carrier battle groups during exercises. If Hollywood is interested in making a film that alerts the public to the threats of the age (and unlike their current films, might get people in the theater) they should consider a story line around an event like this. Consider it an update of an old classic.

What's the Point?

Lately, Ballista has been pondering the purpose of this blog. Not so much whether Ballista should write it; rather, what Ballista should write about.

Many in the blog-o-sphere will tell you that you need a clearly defined purpose or theme to be a good blogger. For instance, discuss a particular industry, sport, academic subject, or person (usually one's self). Ballista tends to agree with this insight, which raises the question: What is the point of this blog?

In short, Ballistablog is intended as a space to present commentary on the world around us. This isn't so much rationalizing the ridiculous as it is an effort to connect the underlying circumstances and conditions that affect us all. Sometimes, the topics can be quite grim, such as here. To counter-balance this, Ballista attempts to inject some humor into the discourse. Most of the time it will be sarcastic, sardonic, and probably pretty twisted. And, Ballista wouldn't have it any other way. But this usually has the added effect of getting the reader to think about the subject in a way they normally wouldn't. Like it says at the top of the screen... One way or another, you'll get the point.

Behold, the Ballista.

Inspiration begets innovation begets inspiration.

Why Ballista?

The ballista was ahead of its time and unparalleled for centuries.

One-by-one or rapid fire, the ballista delivered its bolts with stunning accuracy.

Whether on the frontline or at a distance, the ballista neutralized the adversaries.

The ballista was always on target.

These are the qualities that Ballista aims to bring to the global forum of discourse and ideas.

Sorry for the pun.